SAW Overview

I’ve had an interesting couple of months reviewing this thing. I’ve even gone through nearly losing my laptop, writing a season’s worth of X-Files episodic reviews and loosing my notes and drives constantly. Having seen the series all the way through has left me with some sense of accomplishment I admit, but that’s not what this is about. This is about whether or not the SAW heptalogy is worth your time. I argue yes, begrudgingly. The series is undoubtedly iconic, and the intricate traps brings the excitement to life. At first it felt like it was going somewhere and other times it goes completely off course, because it wasn’t meant to be watched that way. It’s not made so to return to one particular chapter to enjoy. The whole series is center on assembling a puzzle before your eyes from what started with a college experiment. If you could manage the collection without the third one than I would argue that you’re not missing much of anything. Most of the flaws (not all) are brought to light much like a fix to try to cover plot holes in each one, and at first that’s what it felt like to me. The series was using sequels to make up for plot holes. Apparently, that’s not the case. I still feel like there were definite adjustments in order to make the story as a whole work better, but looking at it as a who I don’t care too much. I honestly prefer when writer and directors look to fill any gaps or fix any problems that the story as a whole struggles from. However, you are going to start to feel repetitious. For a series made to be seen as a whole, I would heavily recommend avoiding repetitions in story arches. The bigger question is would I recommend buying it. Yes, and no. I presume the costs even at a 2nd time around or BuyBacks will have the collection starting at 15 dollars. If you could manage a deal to down that to 7 dollar than that would be advisable. Other wise, I would think long and hard about spending that money. Think of how much hours worth you might be working in relationship to what you’re paying.

SAW: The Final Chapter

SAW: The Final Chapter

I’m finally at the end. I, I feel so special. That’s right, Twisted Pictures. I’m about to crack the last of your SAW series wide open. Now, I don’t make too much of a happen of this, but I’m going to pick on the title. I promise you this will start to make a little more sense later into this review. Why, when starting from Roman Numerical counters, did they suddenly drop that altogether? Now, I expect to have them hold up to the “Final” chapter thing, and not find a SAW The Final Chapter II laying around somewhere. I’m with Ross Scott on that shit. “Final”, “Last” or “Ending” means you should expect that it’s the last. I’m not so keen on series that last forever. Yea, I’m looking at you Final Fantasy! Not saying that it wouldn’t be funny to see Friday 13^th do a cross-over with SAW with a title like SAW: The Final Chapter XIII. However, by that point, we might as well start to see it as a joke. I feel that I can say that that’s not what Twisted Pictures is going for. Now to my usually time of picking on the content listings, we’re promised rated R content for “sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture and language”. How might that look one might ask. Well, I would say something like a surprise ending to Paddington where the bear took the wrong turn in a dark aisle. Aah, I’m going to miss those bear puns. Never would another horror film make it so easy for me.

Well, the movie starts us off with the ending to the first SAW, blue filtered and mini-sized. Ugh. What even told them that would be such a great idea. I know it’s pretty much their finale, but still! The blue filter can be really blinding and the mini-sizing might be an attempt to make the scene look all the more important, but they’re been using flashbacks after flashbacks throughout the entire series. We pretty much expect it at this point seeing how there has been some not even in chronological order. Now that mini-screen is done tormenting our eyes, it turns out that Gordon lived. I may’ve jumped onto the trigger by assuming he died, but you cannot blame me. The warning signs were all there. A little fair warning those, even with a larger budget than ever before being used on this movie, it runs about 90 minutes. So, the movie jumps around from scene to scene, and I mean constantly. Right after watching Gordon steam fry his own wounds shut, the scene changes to a rather public display where two guys must decide either to kill the other or let the woman playing them both die. Now when I say this is public, I mean right out in a busy day for a mall with hundreds of people crowding the walkways. This felt like a teaser to a sequel where the audience can expect to see the Jigsaw killings become even more drastic. So, what’s all this? I’m sure if they wanted, SAW would make for a wonderful T.V. series. I would watch that. It might have trouble competing with Dexter, but I can still see that happening. Well, the two come to a “bros before hoes” solution which I can appreciate that they learned to value their own lives. But, doesn’t that kind of cut into John Kramer’s, the original Jigsaw killer’s, distaste for killers.

Now starting from where we left off with SAW IV, it turns out that Jill really wasn’t counting on the whole Hoffman surviving thing. For those that don’t know what I’m referring to, turns out that Jill Tuck, being John Kramer ex-wife, had been left with the task of latching a reverse bear trap onto Hoffman. For those of you still confused. It’s a contraction that rips your face wide open. That’s really the best I can think to describe it right now. Thankfully for Jill, she knew how to play hide and seek well enough for Hoffman to not find her. With that gaping rip in his cheek, I really don’t think she had to do much for him to feel preoccupied. After her attempt on Hoffman’s life, she turns to the only detective left that she could trust, Gibson. Well, would you look at that, another police department is brought into the mix! Now obviously, the case is high profile enough for Gibson to accept her information which I think he would willingly exchange a 3 week paid vacation in the Bahamas for it. After all, this case did become big enough for the FBI to get involved. Hell, there’s even a deuce by the name of Bobby that’s milking the whole thing more money. Oh, yes. The current epicenter of this movie is a self-proclaim Jigsaw victim who resembles a 700 club charlatan without a doubt. (Honestly, what did they expect by lowering the background checks?) With that said, cue the overly supportive wife, and check.

Now as it is made official that Bobby will be meeting in a Jigsaw survivors’ support group, it cuts right to Jill having a rather strange fantasy of Hoffman capturing her. In this dream, she’s distracted by a tricycle which begs the question, is it actually official that the tricycle belongs to Hoffman. I know that Straum theorized that the tricycle actually belonged to someone other than John. Well, nothing’s verbally establish by it as Jill wakes from being torn apart by his personal go-cart of doom. Now that’s out of the way, back to that support group, nope. Instead, it follow with what I felt was the weakest point of the movie. A man wakes up in his car super glued to the chair with a tape telling him how he and his friends are to be punished for racism. It would probably help if the flesh didn’t look so obviously plastic or that he so obviously had skin underneath that skin. Seriously, the lumps where so freaking heavy that it would be difficult to hide it. Then of course the dummy which out of the woman before the car went down on her head. See, switching out the two has been done before and rather well, but not can only be achieved when a motion to make the transition appear more natural actually appears natural. Who sudden turns their head to the side after screaming at a tire? It’s like she just went dead before the tire even hit her. NOW, I can get onto the support group section where of course, Bobby felt the need to bring cameras. IS ANYBODY TRULY QUESTIONING IT AT THIS POINT? There are a few familiar face there and others provide stories that I find a hard time believing whether or not they might be true to the story. Hell, there’s nothing in the storyline that negates the validity of their stories, but nor otherwise. I can at least hand it to them for at least playing it true instead of providing a theatrical performance about it at every turn. With that said, cue Bobby’s over the time theatrical performance! Right there, he also said some of the dumbest things I’ve ever hear. I have never heard anyone say that minds may heal but the scares will always remain before that scene. I’m fairly certain that most people say that the other way around. And for good measure he verbally hind licks his wife. I don’t know what it is, but I always seem to find it funny when the guy in a relationship seems to feel the need to kiss his wife/girlfriend’s ass.

I’m going to go ahead and skip a little, but never fear I’ll catch it all later. I want to first clear what Bobby’s trials look like. Now, his first one is much more like a preamble where it is clarified that Bobby is in fact a liar and will partake his first true trails. Then that’s followed with a flashback where like all other bright ideas come from, Bobby’s came from a bar. Now the next few trials being a lawyer with a fishhook down her stomach, another woman set to have her eyes and mouth gouge out, and his bar-time friend presented with an ultimate trust game sound intriguing. However, I could not help but feel how each of them seem too similar toward one another. With the first one, if he didn’t get the key out than a bunch of punctures would go through her neck. So in other words it would gouge her throat out the same as how the second had her eyes and mouth gouged out. I’m guessing that the writing staff got short cut on this one. I admit, the third one possess one distinct difference the first two did not have. The first two people had to completely rely on him aside from maybe the how decibel catch for the first person’s. Yet, that’s debatable since he could easily cup his hand partially over her mouth to muffle any sound has he pulls the hook out. It’s just common sense that the pain is going to cause her to scream. With the bar friend, although the catch is that he has to follow Bobby’s word to safely come across in time, he still had to be able to catch the key that’s thrown to him. Now, big shocker, none of them make it. Well, that’s just too much like SAW III. How much you might ask? Well, the whole obstacle courses lead to his wife who he has to prove his ability to uphold to his claim. Before seeing her, he has to pull out two teeth with the combinations. Which ends up taking out a lot of blood. I guess it had been intended that he could at least save one of his friends in order to not have to do it on his own. I feel like picking on how ridiculous the blood spurting out looked, but I feel that I have to address the same issue her as the prior SAW III. The tests are about testing an individual’s will to survive, yet none of the tests were required in order for him to continue. In fact, he could have simply passed each one of them straight toward his wife. So, why even bother with them? This goes back on one thing, SAW IV. Prior to SAW III there was no movie that explored the importance of working together. However, SAW IV makes it its main priority to establish the will to survive is connected to working together in order to live. This however feels more like using a bandage to cover a gashing wound. Not to forget John Kramer’s concept of the will to survive is never expressed in this movie. I feel that I did forget the moment how Bobby even got a person Red Line of Destiny to find his wife. Now to derail the victim’s story. Bobby claimed to the press that he had to stick two hooks into his pictorials in order to haul himself toward an electrical wire so to disarm the electric fence. Well, this brings me to one main problem. WHY ARE YOU HOOKING THEM ONTO YOUR CHEST? Think about it. He still has his pants which if I remember right have belt loops. I think those belt loops may prove sturdier than human flesh. And wouldn’t you guess it, his flesh snapped under pressure before completing the circuit. So not only did he fail to save his people who helped him get his millions to begin with, but he failed to save his wife to an easy bake oven from Hell. Not exactly an alternate take or different look that the audience where expecting.

Now, I would like to take a little time to discuss Gibson. The first note is that this is in fact his character first appearance in the entire series. However, it seems that Gibson knew Hoffman before the killings. Now this seems like a character that could gain some significant development or perspective toward the story, but instead, Gibson kind of resembles a joke. Actually his behavior can easily be matched with an abridged anime character with repetition of silly words like calling Jill “crazy” as her new nickname. Too, it is notable how Hoffman obviously toys with him as if he’s absolutely nothing to take seriously. In fact, all it took to get pass security was a simple body bag switch up. I’m fairly certain that Jill would be safer guarded by the lollipop guild. That reverse bear trap though, it really gets around.

This movie is decent. As a finisher for the series, it actually felt great. I don’t feel that I had been psyched for nothing. The whole movie worked, mostly because of one reason. I held off on this one since it would be a major spoiler, but I was right. Jigsaw did have a small cult gather which brought Hoffman to justice. It also turns out that Dr. Gordon had been with Jigsaw for years, and had been asked to protect Jill. And a good job about that by the way. Criticizing Gordon for being a really bad guardian angel aside, this felt a lot like how a twist should work. No one would have ever expected that Gordon would be part of it all seeing the role that he played in the first movie and how he could be presumed dead by his lack of appearance in all the SAW films aside from the first and last. However, the evidence that he would possibly play a role in the killing have been around. By SAW II it is established that John would place his own disciples in trials and yet again in SAW III. Not to forget how John’s victims tend to take his side after surviving. By SAW V, Hoffman himself received a letter stating that the sender knew of his secrets which turns out to be Gordon. I’m not so sure what turned up in SAW IV or VI to assert Gordon’s potential involvement, but I would guess it would have something to do with the surgical planting of keys into people’s bodies. I would say that this movie, assuming you’ve seen the prior movies give or take a SAW III, is well worth watching. I don’t know that I would urge having to pay in order to do so though.

SAW VI

SAW VI

The penultimate movie to the SAW series. Damn I’m close to getting this thing done. Just give me a while to breathe it all in… Thank you. For this entry, I have chosen to try a different approach to my usual critique writing style. Rather than going out of order to break the events in theme based paragraphs and blocks, I will break each section up as it happens in the movie. Please let me know which of the two you prefer otherwise I will keep with my common style and possibly experiment again later.

As usual this is a produce by Twisted Pictures and Lion’s gate, and rated R all the same for “sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture and language”. Poor Yogi’s still off the job, either that or gone mute. With that bad joke aside, the movie starts with two co-worker wake up in a room full of cockroaches. Yeah, since when did Jigsaw just let bugs into his trails. The chubby one of the two gains an advantage off the bat seeing how the objective is to shed the most flesh in order to live. In other words another it’s you or me game. As the fat guy goes what I think some would call serious lipo cutting his coworker forfeits an arm into the scale. Ha. Thankfully that arm alone made the difference on the scale.

Now that theme sequences finish, we are introduced to a Umbrella corporation looking business man who denies a man’s insurance for having oral surgery.  That leaves me with two comments: One, did the writer for SAW want to make a tv series but the material couldn’t make the air? Two, Isn’t the whole point of insurance is to cover for what might happen to you? Yeah, American insurance is already kind of crooked by charging premiums on whether or not your marriage with the assumption that singles would be prone to more physical injuries. With that in mind, the insurance guy simple seem silly for tossing a customer aside for a simple complication. I don’t think he’s going to care about having his premium raised as a consequence. But of course, not having insurance somehow means that the business man killed him. That will play a bigger role later.

Remember Director Erics from the last movie? No? That bit might be my fault if you’re talking reviews only, but Director Erics is the big balding guy who is the director of the FBI. Hopefully, what a director of the FBI is self-explanatory. Hoffman, after surviving his ordeal (thankyou movie for actually following up with were we left off), is given a load of surprises for example that Straum’s finger prints have been found at the crime scene. Too, and more importantly, agent Perez is still alive. In SAW IV she acted as Straum’s partner before a dolly ambush thereby left off in SAW V presumed as dead. Ok, Perez’s life might be the real surprise to Hoffman at least.

Now to introduce Jenkins, a column writer who know about that box through probate court. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, in the last SAW John Kramer left his wife with a box containing who know what. Being the nosy writer that she is, Jenkins confronts Jill, Kramer’s ex-wife, about the box to find out more for a new entry. Meanwhile, Hoffman asks the woman who sawed her arm off if she learned something from it. I think it’s safe to say that Hoffman made that trap. As you would imagine a detective asking a patient that sounded rather strange, and the woman didn’t take it so well. Back to that box, it seems to carry six envelopes each with a game and Jenkin chose the wrong time to play 20 questions when she shows up in #2. The she’s in deep shit is just too tempting for that.

Well, Hoffman doesn’t seem to be doing himself any favors as Erics has even more secrets revealed. The mortician found discrepancies with puzzle piece carvings with Seth Baxter and the rest of the victims. Too, the tape used for that crime scene is believed to have been from a different Jigsaw. Guess that means that Hoffman could be in some deep shit. Seeing how work stress just increased for him, Hoffman decided that he could use the work and takes on all the files minus one shelved away. I think it’s also safe to say that Jill Tuck is assisting John or at least has been assisting John Kramer on the Jigsaw. A flashback revealing her acknowledgement of Amanda is even given to establish this for what John referred to as a full recovery.

It’s bad enough that the cover uses the word grisly instead of gruesome, but when a new reporter in the movie uses it, it’s like it just trying to urge me to make all the bad puns that I could muster. I also couldn’t help but to notice how he even pronounces it as if referring to grizzly bear. Something about that doesn’t seem right. Well, that businessman from before is shaken up by the threat that John made on his life years ago mostly by the fact that the Jigsaw killing continue. I think it’s safe to say that Jigsaw simply held a lot of grudges and a willingness to wait them out. I still don’t think that fully justified him shooting his own security guard. On accident of course, but shooting that security seems to be what told pigman that it’s safe to move in on him.

Well, apparently at some point, the businessman and John met at a party where Jigsaw brought up his concern with insurance possibly basing fees off of probability. I somehow thing John wanting insurance to be based off of the “will to live” is rightfully a bit much to take. Once that flashback is done and over with, the businessman wakes to find he’s being tested off of probability versus “the will to live” by playing a hold your breath game with a co-worker having a long history of smoking. Now, is anyone really surprised that the smoker would not win that one? Guess, John’s playing the ghost of Christmas pass, since his visual appearance even begged the question of “do the dead have no hold on you?”

Well, not everything about what John felt about the whole probability thing had been discussed in that party as will be seen in the second game. The trail starts with a helpful reappearance of the doll hanging from a noose to suggest what might happen to either a man with no family but fulfill the criteria of the businessman’s insurance or an elderly woman who belongs to a large family to which she mean a lot yet lacking the health criteria. The businessman breaks his own policy by choosing family significance over probability for survival. However, I would still like to know if he decided to drop both. May be that’s just me.

Back to a captured family waiting on the businessman as it would seem, they try to think of a way to use the HF dripping from a container in their cell in order to burn through the bar, I feel that they gave the whole ideal up too early. Hell, it might work by using their clothes to carefully carry over to the bars. That would have been worth an effort at least, but no. Soon enough, Jenkins finds herself waking to a similar situation as the teenage boy and mother.

Now to how Hoffman is doing. Well the word that reached his ears are as follow, “something else we wanted to talk to you about” and “It’s time sensitive”. My first thought is that there’s a trap in there. However, that seems to only trigger a flashback for Hoffman taking him back to how he wheel barreled Timothy in SAW III. To jog you memories, Timothy is that black guy that accidentally ran over a kid with a car. I don’t know if I really want to get into any more details than that right now. As John watches Hoffman simply dump him out like stinky garbage, John thinks to ask him if he likes how brutality feels. I don’t know why Hoffman is so sure that he doesn’t have to fear a test, since John just hinted that he might need some correcting on how he deals with people. While we’re at it, time to cover how Jill got that key necklace for the box which happen right in that flashback. Hmm. I don’t really know how much of this Hoffman was truly there for, I’m fairly certain that this is another flashback more so for the audience than making sense with character.

For the businessman’s third trial, he must guide a lawyer across the room in order to display the ability to take some of the pain to carry one through. Well, the lawyer appreciated it and all, but when he found that the key is in the businessman’s stomach, he really didn’t have the patience to let him take care of it. Instead, she starts at him with a saw and even kicks him in the nuts to make things easier. As a result, she dies before actually getting the key to finally free her from the trap. Where is Hoffman in all of this? Back with the other detectives as they crack his involvement right in front of him. Perez makes a key observation by noting how Hoffman’s watch is set to time something.

With how proud that the businessman is of his specially assigned stuff in order to determine any high risks in probability, seeing them on a mix between Russian roulette and ring around the rosy.  William, the businessman (yes it took me that long to actually catch the guy’s name), must choose two to let live out of eight staff members. A staff member gets emotional after the two have been picked, yelling “You look at me as you’re killing me, YOU LOOK AT ME!” Regardless of the two William chooses, I don’t think that any of them would continue working for him. Just a feeling. Now, I’m fairly certain for a man who doesn’t like murderers or killing, this really tests John’s by design.

I am happy to finally see a section revolving what the FBI is doing that doesn’t only cut off in a minute or less. The constant switching in and out like that really makes you wonder when something is finally going to ignite. Now that the FBI have a filter for the voice. Hoffman seems to frequent a cup of water. You could serious tell that Hoffman is not exactly a poker player as the comment about Straum’s lack of motivation, yet pulls away when suggested that Straum could still be the one. Of course the moment that the recording reads crystal clear, Hoffman makes really short work of his team. He even makes an effort to frame Straum for a crime he could not possibly be alive to commit. Seriously, the whole staff knew the guy is dead. But you have to say, Straum hand seems to make a real handy trophy. I also question the point in framing if he’s going to burn the whole room with gasoline anyways. Did he see that trying to frame an obviously dead guy isn’t going to work? I got a laugh out of him dumping gasoline over someone who appears to still be alive. It’s like the gears in his head said, “still alive? Let me just add a little more gasoline.” It’s still going to be really hard for Hoffman to work with the police after that, that much I know.

Think he’s still in the clear, Hoffman takes off to watch how William’s trial ends. To his surprise, Jill straps him into a trial of his own for blackmailing Amanda for her relationship with the druggy that caused the miscarriage. Did you think that woman and child were William’s family, you would be wrong. As it turns out, Jenkins is William’s sister who he made plans with the other day. However, the family still remembers him as the man who “killed his father” or “husband” depending on which of the two it’s the perspective. The wife is willing to forgive however, Junior’s not so forgiving and plays with a latch to liquidize William with acid. I honestly don’t think that Junior thought that one through so well. Who would even be able to let them free? Sure William might be a jerk, but don’t kill the hand that has the key toward you undisclosed location cell.

Will there be a sequel? Well, a little spoiler alert. Hoffman survives the reverse bear trap. It is pretty interesting to watch him use the brace to brake his thumb so to slip out of the arm straps. Then, he follows that up with slamming his face into a door frame in order to interrupt the trap’s release mechanism. Seeing how he ran out of time, it was a very necessary move to buy extra time. Still alive, Hoffman releases himself with a mutilated face. Hmm, a lot of mutilation goes on in this series.

I will say, after the third, the SAW series really makes up for a lot by improving in intrigue. For one, this actually makes me really look forward to the finale toward the series, and possibly a SAW tv series. I guess I could settle with watching Dexter, but still. Paying $5 or more on this really isn’t a lost. I might crine a little if I see it selling for $10, but that’s more of a “I really don’t want to spend so much money on one thing”. I’m pretty picky and cheap toward movies that way.

SAW V

SAW V

I’m nearing the finishing line, I can just feel it. SAW V, another product of Twisted Pictures rated R for “sequence of grisly bloody violence and torture, language and brief nudity”. Now the nudity is promised, they better not have lied to me, now. I already know nothing’s in chronological order in this Saga. With how many recorders around, I wouldn’t be too surprised if there is a tape where John asks for a pb&j sitting around somewhere. Thankfully, it’s fully established that John Kramer has been caught, and believed that the Jigsaw murders have been stopped. Now, I personally think it’s unfair for them to stick Detective Straum and Hoffman in the same room, but that happened anyways. They look too similar to one another, it’s hard to tell who is who when they do that. After watching these movies so far, I really want one of those Pig man masks. Do you think they would sell one of those things or something like that at a Rob Zombie concert? Hey, two birds with one stone for my bucket list. Now to get what the whole this is actually about in one bit jump, it’s an origins story for Hoffman. There I said it. Now, because I know Hoffman and Straum are so hard to tell apart, I’ll settle it this way. Hoffman is the local police detective while Straum is the big shot FBI detective who gone nuts over the whole case. Turns out Jigsaw received credit for one of Straum’s trial, where the killer of his sister must choose either his hands or life. Well, turns out the choice never mattered since Straum felt spiteful. A lot of frequent flashbacks pop up which has been clearly meant for the audience. So, nothing’s changed. Jigsaw manages to get the jump on Hoffman so to set him onto a chair with a trigger set shotgun aimed toward his face. Jigsaw keeps an interesting hobby for that sort of thing. Turns out that John didn’t have a problem or at least not a massive one, rather if Hoffman felt up for the long hall of kidnapping people to set in complicated contractions. Likewise, Jigsaw brings up the idea of his traps as a means of rehabilitation. So, Jigsaw is LE (Lawful Evil) that’s good to know. I’m honestly not sure how the bullet in the gun didn’t go off in Hoffman’s face, but I’m willing to suffer that aching question. More importantly, I can’t help but to ask what’s in the box that John Kramer left his wife in his will. He even provides a visual tape of himself to present that box with “contents of grave importance”. Hell, she even had a key to the box on her necklace. Wonder if that might rise any questions. Well, it turns out to capture the attention a news reporter. Miss Tuck, John’s wife, even states that he feels that someone is following her possibly due to the contents of that box.

Let’s dive right into this mess with the stars of this particular film, five mystery victims. At the very start, they wake up collared to be decapitated. If they don’t start the test in time, a set of homemade nail bombs sit ready to blow off their faces. I also question how one of the victims didn’t think showing that he knew them wouldn’t come off as suspicious or distract the others from the trial afore them. I also question how Jigsaw meant for them to tell that all the keys are the same as they struggle to reach for them willingly sacrificing each other’s safety, because surprise, surprise they’re linked up much like that tug of war segment from SAW IV.  That little game of grab the key becomes followed by a game of breaking jars. The guy who couldn’t keep his mouth shut about who is who turns out to know them from his journalism jobs. Seeing how no one felt comfortable with his occupation, deciding that the matter is a case of “survival of the fittest” doesn’t go in his favor. Three keys and only three tunnel to curl up into so to avoid an explosive blast. I question why he could have let the trust fund baby who he bashes in help out with the jars first. Too, once the explosive go off seems too late for a realization that there’s enough room in each of the tunnels to harbor more than one person. I’m at least assuming that’s what went down in his head as he shouts “waits” just before disassembling into human shrapnel. The third trial is no more intriguing that the previous two. The surviving of 3 out of 5 victims must close a circuit so to open a door with enough electricity. Rather than working as a team which is later revealed as the intent, the surviving victims make a ritual sacrifice for this trial. Though upon the fourth trial, it is finally explained or at least insinuated enough for the last two to realize that they have been intended to work together. If he want them to work together on each of the trial than why do each video play off the basis that they would be sacrificing one another? I don’t think John even anticipated for them to figure that out until the end at least, if even then. I think that John’s method ought to be questioned based on the assumption that he already figured that the victims would fail. How is it rehabilitation if one constructs traps intended for others to fail? Well, long story short, that Trust fund baby happens to be so well loved by the others that he is carried through each trial well. Instead of his life, he and the girl who basically carried him all the way through walk out of the whole thing with seriously mutilated arms.

It seems that the legacy of Mr. Warrants-Are-For-Chumps continues with Straum. He might not be black, but Straum fits the bill, when not even medical leave can keep him away from cracking the case wide open like a nut in a nut-cracker. I don’t know what it is about doing work which will not foot any pay check in the end, but Straum looks through Hoffman’s personal records, and leaves no course for Hoffman’s privacy in general. Well, Straum uncovers Hoffman’s involvement with the first victim that I discussed earlier. The guy who had to cut his wrists. As luck would have it, the crime scene remained perfectly intact after all those month. … The Hell? I would at least expect some of the crime scene to be cleaned by that time. The obvious bit, Hoffman meant for that victim to die. Okay, obvious since I’ve already covered that bit.

Well, with Straum snooping around, it all turns out to be his trial. Well, I guess his second trial seeing how he already undergone a trial at the beginning of the film. However, that event where Peter Straum readies himself for a life in an aquarium took so little build up that he founded a solution by punching a hole in his throat so that he could breathe through a pen. Remember kid, keep your pens handy, since you never know when someone would set a class case around your face in order to drown you with pouring water. In the end, Straum is set up for the assistance of John Kramer as the third Jigsaw. Straum really should have taken that glass case out. A recording tape even told him that it is his only way out. On the other hand, it’s an empty glass box with a bunch of broken glass pieces in it. I don’t think that Straum really wants to go through anything involving glass again. Too, the whole wall closing in around him seems so unlikely, yet that’s exactly what happens. I have to hand it to him though, he really but a valiant effort into his survival by jumping all the way up to the top, but to no end.

This is actually a decent and more of a move up from the bar that SAW III and SAW IV left. I could still find bits to laugh at but not much. I guess a primary vow of confidence is in how short this review is compared to my previous reviews which can tell you two things. One, there’s not a whole lot wrong with the film to point out. Two, there’s not a lot of special snippets to share about the film either. I would still recommend buying it, so long as you can find a really good deal for it like $2 bin or garage sale deal. Feel free to spend a little extra with $5 if you feel like it.

SAW IV

SAW IV

I am back, and better than ever. I apologize for the wait, and I hope this review is up to my audience’s standards. You’re all worth the effort. For this blog, I am reviewing Twisted Picture’s next piece SAW IV rated R for “sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture throughout, and for language”. Yet again, Yogi’s not there for his wonderful voice. Sorry, Old habits die hard. I personally question if this movie had been intended for mens-lovers since the rating obviously forgot to mention full-frontal nudity, such as Jigsaw John Kramer laid out on full display for all to see his nude body in the morgue. That’s right necrophiliacs this is a real juicy start for the film. I can just see Kramer’s dulling lips whisper, “Draw me like one of your French ladies”. Too, the main character of the movie named Tracy, goes on his own underwear adventures to go after a home invader. Clearly, the scene must not have been good enough for the home invader, since Tracy wakes up in a running shower with not change of articles. Never to worry, since after that rude awaking, Tracy eventually grabs himself some clothes. For those of you who still wanted more of that use of man to pander, never to worry Eric Mathews goes on ice. That’s right, the guy who we all would have been right to presume dead turns out to still be kicking and stuck on a giant ice cube to slip and slide around with his life in the balance. With the male displays, you can sit comfortably with the assurance that some things never change. For example, they continue to really get their money’s worth with that doll. A little spoiler alert here, the new guy stuck himself on his own trap, to give himself away by showing that he knew the victims involved. Though they did hold off that he had been sitting on dead voltage all along. If you had hopes that this is in chronological order, psst, you should know better by now. SAW doesn’t believe in chronological order.

I am happy to announce that the trap became for intriguing than ever. Though, unfortunately the legacy of Warrants-Are-For-Chumps continues to live on, as Tracy undergoes his personal writs of initiation. However, I feel that the background investigation during Tracy’s trials deserves special attention.

For each trial Tracy is faced with, he enters a round to set off a draw string to a tv, EVERY TIME. So much in fact, that it actually loses its sense of amusement only halfway into the film. Goody~. I personally preferred the entrance scene where a familiar face from SGU who I can only remember as Cornel Jung wakes muted by surgical wiring. He deals with serious communication complications when he finds that a man waking with surgical wiring over his eyes struggles to understand the tug-of-war situations. So, it’s more of a Baldy versus that SGU guy for a key to take off his collar. Tracy, upon his second trial, is faced with setting a chubby rapist onto a trap which demanded that he jab out his own eyes in order to live. I feel that the real torture was in how the guy also had to watch himself raping someone on tape as he goes through it. Shit! Did I forget that this is a preset for an origins chapter of the saga. In one segment, John confronts a druggy who was responsible for the death of his unborn son. More of that later. The trap however was interest seeing how the druggy had to push himself through a set of knifes in order to free his wrist from a chair.  I honestly don’t think Kramer cared all that much about redemption then.

Now back to the new Mr. Warrants-Are-For-Chumps, Tracy, who couldn’t help himself but to charge into a crime scene where Carrie hung on full dispose. My apologies though, it appears that EVERYTHING has been ripped off, not only her clothes. Still might not ruin it for some necrophiliacs though. Anyways, you all might be wondering what exactly Tracy hoped to do once he charged into the unclear room. Nothing. Absolutely nothing, unless you count throwing your hands up in the air in total defeat, but other than that, he really didn’t have anything planned. As one might image, work for Tracy is rather stressful since “everyone around him keeps dying”, and that’s quoted from the movie itself. This happens to be what decided Tracy’s leave of absence. Which, the choice should have been made sooner, since Tracy spent that time obsessing to the point that he neglected his wife.

Now that I got Tracy’s introduction out of the way, Welcome to the Pigmen Masquerade starting with a victim sitting in a chair with the same Pigman mask seen throughout the series planted on her face. This first trial set Tracy to decide to save her while her trial had been completely different. “Are you a cop?” Hmm. Why might she ask that? It might have something to do with the incriminating evidence lying around you, while you struggled with a slow insertion of combinations in order to save her butt. How is this guy an officer? I understood how the first guy was, since despite his sudden downfall, the first Mr. Warrants-Are-For-Chumps could prove his stellar detective skills. Tracy on other hand, cannot so much as take the time to look around him to understand more might be at play. Is everyone dying around him just that edge that he got pushed over? I hope his detective work had not always been that sloppy. More importantly, why did it matter so freaking much to the woman on the chair that she would willingly sacrifice her own life. Jigsaw even told her where the knife was which would have helped with Tracy simply wanting to cut the pony tail caught in the rotating gear off to begin with. Maybe I’m looking at this from the wrong angle, and she actually cared more about her hair than her own life. Hell, Evy from V for Vendeta cared more about her hair being cut off than being tortured. With that aside we’re back at the Chubby rapist being the second guy. In procuring him for the Trial, Tracy is told that he much hide his identity with the pigman mask, while not changing anything else. Seriously, if the cameras already saw him inter the room, it’s not going to be hard for any detective to stick two and two together to uncover that “oh, hey, isn’t that Pigman guy awfully similar to the guy who just entered that room a few seconds ago. After the fact, Tracy is told “can’t help them, they have to help themselves” once he followed the bread crumbs to a School where a woman much choose her own life over another. Seriously mixed signals, man. You want people to save one another, but make a tribute sacrifice for their own life? Shoving that aside, Tracy is giving a Go Home card, and do not pass Go to collect 200 dollars. I had to add that joke. Where is home? Well, it looks a lot like that place from SAW I, SAW II, and SAW III. Where else, the old workshop area where you would think more people would be swarming since they know who’s behind it. Seriously, Jigsaw laid out the welcome mat and everything. Oh, fair warning, it turns out that the entirety of the film actually takes place during SAW III with Burger Joe, and not at all after the entrance scene with Jigsaw John Kramer’s recorder is recovered.

Ah, now for me to cover the background investigation which mostly focuses a journal to gloomy flashback lands with John’s divorced wife. She proceeds to give the detective a lengthy story starting with how a druggy at her hospital pulls out a knife to have John talk him down. Wait, is she actually telling the story? How would she know about all the parts that she wasn’t even there for? Does John care just about everything about his day with her? Seriously, I wish I could get away speaking as quietly as John does without people telling me to stop mumbling.  For the things that she can give details about without having to seriously question, John Kramer had a thing for antiques, and wanted for the child he managed to impregnate his wife with to be born on the year of the pig. He made sure to plan it out that way. However, his plans become thoroughly wrecked when the same druggy from the hospital turns a asking for a jacket into a hospital drugs robbery. In the process, the druggy’s brute force caused John’s wife to have a miscarriage. Then we get back into the parts that she couldn’t have possibly been there in order to relay. John went on a pit of revenge to chloroform the druggy with a handy dirty rag and under the cover of a chibi faced pig mask which I guess inspired the pig masks later on… HOW? I mean I can see where the pig mask part went into play, but how did that chibi cutsy looking pig suddenly turn into Japanese Yokai pig mask. Now, I can get onto how Straum, the FBI detective who has been interrogating her, is a real asshole. I still don’t see the point in the endless table slamming clip in the film, or the slamming of pictures in his own partner’s face. The shit! She sees them, and she’s great at her job. YOU do not need to keep shoving the rape picture in her face to ask her how she feels about it. It’s pretty damn obvious that the scenery of the second trial would make anyone uncomfortable. I also don’t see how Straum expected the get where Jigsaw is by slamming the table in front of his wife like that. I continue to question Tracy’s intelligence as he even acknowledges that the investigation is actively following him closely to the point that he pulls a fire alarm to alert them. At that scene the doll has been waiting for them with candles. I guess he had been hoping for a romantic night with agent Perez the female FBI and Straum’s partner on the investigation.

This film isn’t stink tank worthy, but it’s laughably bad. There’s some valiant effort to turn the Saga around, and that’s noteworthy. However, I still suspect this was just a fan flic to pander male characters or perhaps just necrophilia however the case might be. With that out of the way. This is NekoTheLazyGamer, and regardless of my little incident with Sputnik, I am happy to announce that I will still actively produce YouTube video. Sputnik is fully operational. For those unfamiliar with that name, Sputnik is the name I gave my long living computer. I will also soon be doing another cross-over video with Moticolev K for his channel and I say look forward to that. I will post it on my wordpress, but it will be ultimately his video. I say post, but I actually mean embed so that your views will count as views on the video itself. I hope to give more detail on that later. Thank you, all.

SAW III

SAW III

The third out of 7 produced by Lionsgate and Twisted Pictures, Saw III is a complete disappointment. The movie is rated R same as the others for strong grisly violence and gore, sequences of terror and torture, nudity and language. I hate this movie for one reason, it’s a bridge sequel. That’s not my only reason for not liking it, but it really sits in the stink tank for that one. What do I mean by a bridge sequel? Simple, it’s completely reliant one setting a link between two movies baring no significance of its own. This accounts for The Matrix Reloaded and the 2 in an almost every trilogy. To kick this off, the movies starts exactly when the previous movie ended, Mathew’s game. Seeing how he couldn’t bear to saw off his own leg, Mathew made do with breaking his own foot. It even shows use a little fight between Mathews and Amanda which appeared rather comical. That fight only happens at the end around the time that Jigsaw pours some a tape to then swallow. We see this as clear as day, so what is it for? Nothing in this movie that’s for sure. Better yet, where’s the daughter during all this? No one saves her within this movie. Though it is fair to point out that the fact that the daughter is even missing isn’t visually or verbally established with the movie until the very end. Though with all the flashbacks, there’s no way that the audience wouldn’t think of why the daughter never appears outside of the flashbacks. It’s really not that hard to do the math on that one. That brings me to my next point, painful flashbacks. How is the sound of giggling children connected to a feeling of depression in remember his son? Do distort people over the death of their children suddenly break into blurs of giggling children? I doubt that one. The emphasis with that just comes off as cheesy in bore taste.

The Movie centers mostly on Amanda, but really doesn’t show it as a Jigsaw, and I suspect from this film along a cult following. That’s right, Jigsaws for hired. I’m not too familiar with Amanda’s past, but I think a camera invasion linked to a tv reviewing a VHS tape might be too technical for a ex-druggy whose only taken up sophisticated engineering for about a month. Who knows, it might be a simpler procedure than I think. I also question how all the victims could be just waking up as Jeff, a centered test subject, walks into each room. The time frame between each game would suggest that each had been drugged and captured within short time intervals going about 20 minutes apart. It’s already safe to say that John Kramer as Jigsaw is on his deathbed and definitely not in the condition to be heaving a bunch of guys onto locks after capturing them. Even with Amanda’s help, 20 minutes apart is just not going to happen. You would actually need a cult following to execute that smoothly. For all I know, Obi was Jigsaw at some point and that’s part of his involvement from SAW II. Too, Jigsaw just has a bunch of recordings laid all over the place. There’s no way all of them within the short time period of the movies set so far could be from him. From the very beginning of the episode, John Kramer could barely speaker and requires the assistance of an oxygen mask in order to breathe. With how many recorders are waiting around, there’s probably one still out there asking Amanda to fix him some food. I mentioned Jeff already, but not really in depth. Jeff is the man who suffers from spontaneous flashbacks and severe depression over his son death. Jigsaw instructs him to survive tests as penitence for neglecting his daughter through his grievance. Lynn, Jeff’s wife which happens to be a big twist or at least meant to be one, is brought to John in order to prolong his life to the end of an ongoing game with Jeff.

On the Amanda show, Amanda has become notorious for making unwinnable games. The start of which revolves around Troy who wakes with chains latched onto his body. The obvious part from the scene in action is that he would have break his jaw to be free, and that’s with pulling out from the back of his feet, his arms and even with his gut area. Blood lost alone from breaking the more possible links would have killed him. Amanda’s second victim is Detective Carrie who was in the middle of reviewing a VHS tape when she got a sudden channel change. With her game, the key drops into a jar of acid. I’m fairly certain that that acid, seeing how it has the strength to eventually melt away the key, would compromise the key’s unlocking ability. No surprise, it didn’t work, and the scene follows as I can only describe as “Take it all off” as her upper most torso got ripped from her body. The whole comes to a conclusion with Amanda’s trial unfolding in front of her. Why else would Amanda have to explain the rules? Okay that’s a bit farfetched for evidence. However, throughout the film, Jigsaw effectively arms Amanda by rewarding pieces of a gun for each checkpoint. It appears that Amanda has earned the trial possibly for regressing back to cutting herself to the point that she just lets blood drip to the floor. There’s even noticeable mark to indicate that Amanda revert to taking drugs again. The fact that Amanda never gave any of her victims a chance is the reason for the trial which gets pointed out after changing the rules on Lynn at the last moment with the argument “nobody changes”. Likely a reflection of herself.

Lynn is a workaholic. Even though she turns into work on long hours, she withdraws from them. Her connection with Jigsaw had been no more than working the same hospital that John stayed to be diagnosed. At this point I’m pretty sure that so much as him remembering that he sat next to you while feeding birds might make you viable to his games. I did appreciate the great detail in the surgical procedure in which his skull is cut into to alleviate pressure on his head. Then there’s Jeff who’s too much of a joke to really connect with as a character. At the start, Jeff is found trapped in a box followed by scattered flashbacks of drunken contemplations of killing Timothy Young for the death of his son. Jeff’s trials goes something like this. Each victims mistakes him for the capturer. The first involved a woman who witnessed the crime yet never reported it, and somehow this gives Jeff beef with her even though Timothy had been convicted for the crime. In the end, Jeff decides to try to save her too late into it, and she freezes with a coat of ice. The second trial involved the Judge of that case which apparently gave Timothy too light of a prison sentence. The objective involved burning his kid’s possessions to order to find the key. Wouldn’t the key be too hot to use? I shot right out from a burning inferno. I find it hard to believe that such a key would be so easy to just pick up. With luck that the key didn’t take any of the heat out on him, Jeff managed to save the Judge. Then the third, Timothy Young who’s in an elaborate trap which proceeds to twist and twist down to his bones. Despite his effort in successfully untying the key rigged to a shotgun, he managed to pull the string killing the Judge. Yeah, so much for saving him. Likewise Timothy follows suit. I would like to state that Jeff is asked to endure pain for other in each trial in order to save them, yet to move on it’s never actually required. Those stuff are still there if he decides to walk by each victim. He even risked his life with the triggered shotgun. I fail to see how the survival instinct had anything to do with the trials since just leaving everything be would work the best for survival in his trial’s case. Save no one, kill no one. More of a status quo.

This movie horribly disappointed me. There’s so much in how’s still don’t and what’s with this sudden change of message that’s never answered within this movie. Instead, you’re expected to see way saving lives or working together is so important to John aka Jigsaw. For each situation, I feel like there’s a counterpoint for how ridiculous each resolution is “no, that’s silly” straight from a children’s book explaining household appliances. I don’t recommend watching this movie. If you’re wanting to marathon the series, I could easily urge you to skip this one. Everything’s left to be questioned only to have it explained in a later film. Thanks for reading, this is NekoTheLazyGamer.

SAW II

SAW II

Now, I’m onto the sequel of SAW, SAW II. This movie is made to be followed by 5 other movies but still stands pretty well on its own. Like the others it’s rated R for “Grisly violence, gore, terror, language, and drug content”. I guess Yogi got a bigger part than his speech. Twisted Pictures and Lionsgate ends with at this point, iconic piecing together which looks much like an advertisement.

Jigsaw appears to take a new approach with his message rather than insisting timers for reactions. This time, he aims for the opposite of initiative, patience and focus/concentration. The film centers on a Detective Eric Mathew and his son Daniel Mathews. Since the movie suddenly smacked a bunch of characters into one test, they don’t get introduced so well, and I worked best to identify each character by what makes sense. I found the beginning a bit strange since some of the placements appeared too assuming. Seeing how Amanda already knew about the trap, or at least a basic extent, she noticed set ups that no one else seem to notice. Aside from that, the traps didn’t come with many surprises merely not so clever individuals. I couldn’t help but also note some missing pieces in the movie that didn’t seem to go together keeping that this is a succession in mind.

At the start of the film, Jigsaw tests out a new toy called a Venus Fly Trap which operated much like his reverse bear trap. Either Jigsaw really likes to get into character as that doll, or he finds some genuine entertainment in his work as a sadist. Jigsaw allows for himself to be captured by the police yet against, this time with warrants. I suspect that Jigsaw has a love for being captured seeing how he uses each time as an opportunity to preach. Jigsaw notes to Eric Mathews that he means to test him on following instructions and paying attention. A good portion of his traps follow this theme. Looking at Obi’s trial where he refers to a devil’s advocate to indicate that he should trust a painted devil pointing to the right vial. More on that later.

Daniel Mathew, the son of Detective Eric Mathews, is a problems child. Soon enough, Eric notices that his son is missing and as it turns out, he becomes part of Jigsaw’s game. Jigsaw incorporated a picture of Daniel with his father as incriminating evidence toward the contestants who happen to be imprisoned by Eric Mathews. Daniel had been fortunate to find the picture before any more could pick up on the picture. However, Daniel left the picture for anyone to see it. I seriously question the logic there. For a detective, Eric has a problem doing his job. When asked to investigate he decides to argue against it knowing that it’s his job. I also wonder why he opposes to talking to Jigsaw, knowing that only he know his son’s location. Turns out that all those criminals that he imprisoned were also framed by him which brings up the concern that others would catch onto his activities. Eric primary issue is that he’s belligerent. Even when he’s called out by Jigsaw, he suggests turning to a phone book for possible suspects. When finally face to face with Jigsaw, his open line follows, “is this close enough?” I also question the logic in threatening an already dying cancer patient. I feel that he had a little too much fun destroying evidence needed for a conviction in front of Jigsaw. Despite his erratic behavior, he is actually good at his job seeing how it only takes over night to locate Jigsaw off of vague clues.

Seeing how this movie just threw in a bunch of people without any real enough details explored about them in order to remember their names, I acquired my own naming system. A character that really takes a large part in the trials I’ve gone to know him as Brutis for his brute personality and appearance. From the very start, he’s shown aimlessly bashing at a door to their first room. Later, a trial demanded that someone be thrown into a bit of syringes filled with a poison in order to retrieve a key. Brutis took the initiative by throwing Amanda strange down into the pit even though the trial had been addressed to someone else. For the most part, Brutis appears to always take a violent resolution to the point that he hunts down everyone else for their number for the exit door combination. When Amanda suggested that they could work together, he insisted that there could only be one. (Must have really lived for High Lander.) As it turned out, Brutis did not think about how he could see his own number and telling him resulted in him slicing the piece of skin from the back of his neck. Just for laughs, he stuck it into his pocket. Okay, it made me laugh. With the sort dark hair, deep tan and strong features the sight of him might make you mistake the film for an ancient Greek-Roman themed film. Hell, he would make a convincing Sparticus. Amanda… well, she really doesn’t need much of an introduction at this point. Even with the laugh I got from Brutis, I must say that Obi made in the favorite character column. The fact that I could take the time to know his name ought to tell you, he’s well introduced yet only for a brief segment of the film where he’s described as a wolf amongst lambs by Jigsaw. The reason? Obi took part in collecting the others which turns up quite a bit of trouble for them. The recording which thoroughly introduces Obi challenges him to go into an oven where there are two vials where he’s also told to play the devil’s advocate. Obi willingly accepts going into the oven without a slight hesitation, and gives a one liner when grabbing one of the vial saying “Thank you, Mommy”. I thought that takes a special sense of humor to not even be phased by death, or one hell of a poor defense mechanism. Taking both unfortunately resulted in Obi burning alive. Ok, I said he’s a favorite, but I’m far from morning for him, only the killer rabbit from the Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail deserves that special treatment. More less nobler reasons, I’ve known a very logically thinking character as Shawshank. Yes, he’s black, but that’s not the entire reason that I know him by that name. I had so little for work with since the only character less developed than him was the guy who died by a door without so much as enduring or witnessing a single game. The only thing that’s given about him is that he used to be an informant and a lot of people want him dead for it. I know him as Shawshank due to his constant suggestion that their relation his through doing time for criminal activities. The trial involving the syringes was meant for a teacher who dealt drugs to student, and the name for her is simple enough, drug dealer. The final character, I know as Jersey shore who vomits blood throughout the film. Yet again, the name is mostly in relation to her appearance. I might be wrong about Shawshank being the least developed next to the door guy, seeing how her case is never explained. Jersey shore never discusses herself any further than stating that she’s done time. For the most part, she’s not a bright character and it’s hard to tell if there’s a genuine health issue that’s meant to play a part in that. Watching her just walk up a glass case with antidotes without any hesitation to stick her hand in didn’t place her in such a good light. Seeing how the trap ensnared her hands, Brutis even took pity enough to not kill her.

While watching for the first time, the games appeared too assuming or at least a select few such as the recorder behind a brick wall. I question how anyone could be expected to look there to know what to do, yet Amanda went right for it. It’s explained later that she has been working with Jigsaw, and most likely picked it up from there. However, nobody questioned it. No one. The fact that she just pulled a recorder out from a brick wall didn’t phase anyone in the least bit or beg the question as to how she would know to look there. The riddle “Numbers on the backs of their mind” seemed too easy, and made me think why they wouldn’t know to check their necks. I imagine they never figured it might be literal, but still, none of them thought of it.

This film is a step up from the original, but possessed some missing pieces. How could this sickly old man have the strength to set up these traps or gather so many people? Amanda clearly didn’t play a part in this trial seeing how she played part of the trial as well. If you meant to be stuck in a set of games, I would imagine you’d possess a little more than where the first recorder is, nor appear so surprised or horrified. There’s also too many jump scares possessing no personified threat, then again Brutis could be pretty threatening. Then there a door to a particular trap where only Brutis possessed the strength to shove through, AT FULL THRUST. How could Jigsaw foresee that Brutis would survive up to that point? More onto the point, if Jigsaw could foresee their moves, is Jigsaw ever actually expecting for his victims to survive or win?

There’s still a lot of problems with this movie, but like I said, it’s a step up from the original and much more like you’d expect or hope for in a film than what the original presented. Yet, seeing the original may’ve pushed my judgement. See this movie. That is where I would like to leave that. If you could score it from a garage sale for 2 dollars for less then go for it. I wouldn’t recommend it for any more than 5 dollars. I know that might sound harsh, but budget, man. Keep in mind that that’s for if you intend to keep it. A 1 night rental is still recommendable, but keeping it is worthwhile. Thank you to any readers for reading. This was NekoTheLazyGamer.

SAW

I have been planning to type the review for this one for some time now. This is the movie which sparked a heptology of films to elaborate on Jigsaw. The following is rated R for “strong grisly violence and language”. …so did Yogi get an audition or something? Okay, that grizzly, but the two look so similar that I bet that’s why we don’t see “grisly” on ratings so much. I do feel that they forgot to mention brief nudity regarding a candle lit adventure. With their budget, they do a lot of cutting away from gore. I’m familiar with Lionsgate for Fable, but twisted pictures is quite an odd one to me. Turns out Twisted pictures is the GameFreak of movie productions, since Twisted pictures has worked on a few projects outside of SAW yet only ever know or dedicated to SAW same as how GameFreak is with Pokémon games. Sometimes I feel like horror films are used as advertisements for metal groups, and I have to say, this one has quite a neat soundtrack. The producers also knew how to use the soundtrack appropriately. The movie obviously has it’s downfalls for being a budget film and I’ll get onto that. First order of business, why are all the victims white? Was affirmative action just that strong? It’s not like the film neglected to hire other ethnicities, their just given better roles.

I don’t feel that Jigsaw, the renowned serial killer who poses puzzles for people, is so true to his word, but he does make for a great Assassin’s creed cosplayer. Though the majority of the film takes place with what looks like a Stockholm’s syndrome bathroom romance. I would also like to touch base with the creepy character named Zepp who cares for his patients more to a cost onto himself.

While puppeteering his doll, Jigsaw places Amanda in a trap which she must value her own life over another. I feel that this contradicts his message of re-evaluating self-destructive tendencies over life. I doubt that the druggy means anything to her, unless he happens to be a drug dealer. If she gained a reputation for knifing her suppliers, then that might cause others to back away. For the most part, I don’t see any test of endurance of suffering to display any survival instinct. I also question how the main scenario in the bathroom demonstrated a survival instinct. For one, only one had the test to kill another in order to save his own life and his family’s. That’s right, he had an incentive to survive for his family. If you ask me, that sounds more like a test of paternal instinct. More importantly, why the time limit? He made no exception despite any fulfillment. I might have to accept that his message remains blurry from this movie, and this actually makes him a better horror fiend. The unpredictability leaves the audience guessing his intentions and a cause for personal re-evaluation.

The majority of the film took place in one of the worst bathrooms you could be left in. From first glance with a modern perspective, it looks like the Odd Couple mixed with The Hangover. Gordon, the one given the test for survival, appears to know parts he wasn’t there for in his flashback. Then again, the detectives interrogating him in those flashbacks could be very generous with information. I somehow doubt any detectives would tell a suspect about 3 of the murders in such detail. Gordon as it would happen, holds a secret love life from his family, yet doesn’t do a good job of it. The film itself tries to be subtle about it, but the hints feel so heavy. When asked about an alibi, Gordon answers “I went to visit someone who wasn’t a patient. I would rather my wife not know.” I somehow don’t think that would fool the audience. When he goes to his affair the night that he became capture by Miss Piggy on a really bad day, he meant to end the relationship expecting her to keep quiet about it. I get the impression that Gordon’s not all that clever, because I find it hard to see how she would want to keep the affair going by using the information as blackmail. Gordon deals with a rather complex life as he’s pursued by 4 stalkers if you’re not counting Miss Piggy on a really bad day: Adam, who I like to call Detective Warrant’s-are-for-chumps, Zepp and Jigsaw. Adam woke up in the same bathroom as Gordon. Yet rather than being given the chance to kill the other for his freedom, Adam is pegged as the target. I feel that his self-given name “very-fucking confused” suit him since for the most part he appear confused in about every scene. I question how holding a phot that you mean to hide up in the open is a way of hiding it. The photo in question is a set of photo which show that Adam had been following Gordon on Detective Warrants-are-for-chumps’ account. Though Adam seem to have hid the photos in a tub that within his reach. While the two continue to search, or so Gordon expected the both were, for clues on escaping; Adam stares down into a tub insisting that he is helping. I main question is, HOW THE HELL DID THAT WORK? For whatever reason, Gordon didn’t appear the least bit suspicious about Adam’s strange interest in looking into a tub. The most genuine part of Adam had been the worst play dying I’ve ever seen. I’m not even sure why Zepp decided that he need to shock him. It appears so obvious that Adam is faking that the electrocution seems unnecessary. I also find it strange that Gordon would suspect Adam of faking. You saw how unconvincing his play-dying was, how would you expect him to play-electrocution so well? I don’t see the connection. Now, for the romance part. Toward the end, Gordon sacrifices his arm in order to break free and tells Adam that he’s going for help. Adam’s response follows, “Please, don’t leave me!” The read on that line sounded mixed, as though it could have been voice for the intent of romance profession, yet the circumstance surely points at the reality that Adam felt distort from the horror.

I now go onto saying what all is wrong with Zepp. There’s a scene where Zepp had taken over Gordon’s house with his wife and daughter tied up. While so, Zepp proceeded to play around with a stethoscope and the gun. The scene had clearly only been done for dramatic effect and nothing more. Hell, Zepp is a doctor same as Gordon. He even works at the same Hospital as Gordon. I don’t see why raising a gun to test the daughter heartbeat response was needed. It’s pretty damn obvious that her heart rate is going to raise in response to how the gun’s pointed at her. If his thought was to give her a heart attack, then he ought to know that she’s too young for one. Given that the daughter is perfectly healthy, it’s not going to jeopardize her help unless he slips and pulls the trigger by mistake. Why is Zepp helping with all this? Apparently, Jigsaw manage to slip some slow acting poison and hold the antidote. My first response: YOU WORK AT A HOSPITAL. If there actually is something out there for the poison, then surely, you would already have the know-how and resources to find such an antidote. Plus, there didn’t seem to be any reason why Zepp would want to keep the poison hidden from the others.

Early on, we are introduced to a detective working the Jigsaw murder investigations. As soon as one light belonging to Gordon shows up, he became obsessed with Gordon being Jigsaw to the extent that he hires Adam to follow him. I nickname him Mr. Warrants-are-for chumps for the line “Why get a warrant?” That should not come from a cop. As you would expect, it lost him his job and none of the evidence could be used. His partner would be able to regret it himself, if he had made it out with his life. On the confrontation with Jigsaw, the detective could have saved a man in the middle of a trap if not for that must-see-his-face complex. Instead of freeing the individual, he waits around with his partner to end up playing a game to save the man’s life. As it would turn out, that wasn’t so well thought out.

I do have a favorite part though, the final fight scene where Mr. Warrants-are-for-chumps, detective Tapp, finally moves in on Gordon’s house to find Zepp. I love how he uses a door frame that’s obviously not big enough to really cover him. I could just see the line, “Protect me Plank, I might not be Jonny, but I’m an obsessive black man. That’s close enough, right.” Fortunately for him, it was even though his arms stuck out. It made about as much sense as “protect me cone!” from Red vs Blue. Though he does swing right out into action without any cover. He even got shot at to have no visual effect. It’s like he’s Heavy from Team Fortress 2 screaming “I’m bullet PROOF!” Seeing how not a single shot hit him point blank, Tapp might as well be bullet proof. Toward the end, there was nothing but disappointments starting will the malfunction with the killswitch. It did however prove the electrocution to Gordon after doubting Adam. Unfortunately for Tapp, he was bulletproof as he fought Zepp over the gun. I wonder, aren’t police taught not to direct the gun anywhere toward yourself. It’s so much as taught that you shouldn’t have a carving knife point toward oneself.

Over all, SAW felt like a disappointing movie, but not a complete shit fest. The film could have really worked with Zepp’s motive. When Adam came out from the tub after being in water for who knows how long, I never would have thought that his tape would still run. With the onslaught of flashbacks, it’s hard to determine a mental timeline. I also question how Gordon’s wife even knew about Adam, since one would think the connection is that his wife hired Adam to make sure that he wasn’t cheating on her like she expected. Instead, Detective Tapp had been behind hiring him. So, it still begs the question how she even knew about Adam. The pig mask and doll never seem to get old within the series. Though, Jigsaw would not possess the strength to masquerade in the pig mask. I appreciate the stellar detective work that Tapp manage and the ethnically diversity in detectives seems commendable.